by Bryan Wattree
Trying Hard not to act reckless , the only thing that keeps me sane is the cross on my neckless, its crazy how your mood can change within a few seconds , I wish God could just send me a message , maybe i’m being tested? , kind of feel like my mind is being arrested , is it worth the stress? is it worth the feeling of feeling worthless , How can everything go from Good to a mess , how can a guy use a bullet and lay my friend to rest , in peace to my bestfriend , I’ll see you again , we were friends from when we were boys and turned into men , sometimes I wanna pick up a gun and let that revolver spin and kill whoever shot you , even though its a deadly sin , when I heard the news I didnt know where to begin , I was in shock , I just lost my only friend and it hurt , not to mention I was kind of depressed , I kind of wish you were there with a bullet proof vest before he pulled out that gun and sprayed your chest , its dangerous , where I live , but am I really living? its hard to feel alive when you dont have any feeling , I told the girl I love all my feelings and she walked away , we dont even talk today , but thats old news , the feelings were lost in May , my heart was numb while my skin turned shades of gray , I Changed a lot , the new me is here to stay , Im stronger now and I don’t have time for games , I was made fun of for being kind of strange, and for being ugly , it made me feel some kind of way , this is a world full of dogs and bitches , I’m like a stray , I dont know where I am in life , I lost my way , I seek God for guidence , which is exactly why I pray , he keeps me strong and lets me see another day , I’m Lucky to be alive , in a world like this its hard to survive because others thrive on causing pain and causing a strain and forcing you to take that blade and cut that vain, just like kurt cobain went insane and took that gun and shot “BANG” to the head , suicide , he was dead , the blood was red , nobody knows the tears he shed , No one knows my struggle , so how can they understand? its like they cant comprehend how I feel or what I speak , they say crying is for the weak , or crying is for the strong , Crying is for the people that held on too long , sometimes people gotta hit that bong , just for a minute so that feeling is gone , but it returns and attacks moving you five steps back , you need a distract-tion (distraction) and take action because once the pain consumes you its hard to come back son. Society Killed the teenager , Click Clack , Done.
is it over? or do I get a second chance to overcome my pain and take myself out of this trance , you can see the pain in my eyes with just a single glance , you have two choices , you can use it to make you stronger or let it eat you alive , Cant let the darkness take over , I rather die , ive choosen to become stronger in order to survive , ive come too far to give up now , I have too much to live for , cant let my people down , its like i’m in deep water trying not to drown , water up to my neck , far from the ground , looking for that place called home , Dear to whoevers reading this you are not alone.